Wow. This is heartfelt. I as a straight woman in the 80s and 90s walked with my lesbian and gay friends. I supported their calls for equality. When the trans question came out I stood for trans rights then something changed. A feeling that something wasn't right, that some not all were literally trying to claim that they were something that they couldn't be that if they felt they were a woman they were. This worried me. You have put all my fears into the words I felt I couldn't say. Thank you for this. You are such a strong brave man
This is terrific. So clear, considered and well-written. And also heartfelt. The only sad thing is that certain people will almost certainly give you hate for it, while failing to come up with anything half so eloquent.
This is a brave and important piece of writing. I am bisexual and automatically backed trans rights - I saw myself as a progressive so of course I'd support this struggling minority. But it's clear that the trans rights movement has moved from protesting the violence and prejudice some trans people suffer to claiming that biological sex does not exist. And it doing so it places women (and gay men) in great danger.
Dec 21, 2021·edited Dec 21, 2021Liked by Duncan Henry
Thanks for this, Duncan.
I remember you from twitter and always appreciated your input. This essay is a very clear time line of the penny dropping and could potentially challenge even some if my most stubbornly righteous friends.
Thank you Duncan. I have also been on a journey on this trajectory. I'm a straight woman with many gay friends and an oldest and dearest friend is a trans man. I backed him all the way through his transition. I spent my youth in gay clubs partying with a mix of wonderful gay, bisexual, straight, transvestite and trans people. I knew which side I was on. I was angered by JK Rowling's comments which seemed to dismiss the painful experiences and feelings of trans women. I was angered by the suggestion that trans women were sexual predators just like I was angered years earlier by the suggestion that being gay meant sexual perversion. But I am also a feminist and I knew that biological sex matters. Something didn't feel right. Like you a discussion with a gender critical friend, and a lot of thinking and reading led me down the path you have described so well. I hope others follow.
Am stunned this has only just made national consciousness - and only because JK Rowling as raised it in her tweets. The other day I found the following article in The Economist from 2018 where it is discussed and the nuance of the difference between same sex attraction v same gender attraction and the nature of being a woman. I only found it as I have a 16yo gnc autie daughter who is clearly lesbian, but has been convinced she is trans since she was 12 - along with 50% of her peers - so I research stuff that might help her reframe what the TRA lobby tells her.
The debate reached its point of insanity when a cisgender male, who identifies as a woman and a lesbian, who has not fully transitioned, claimed on YouTube that "lesbians who refuse to date a lesbian with a penis are guilty of a hate crime". That's the sort of writing you'd expect on South Park.
Finally... a succinct & thorough examination of this "debate" that I've been reluctant to publicly weigh in on for fear of being sledgehammered. I've been quietly flying under the radar informing my opinion. This is the 1st time I've responded to it, because your "essay" was logical, well researched yet personal. This is personal. Thankyou so very much...from a Woman in the "Colony's". 🌏,☮️ &5⭐'s.
This has really helped me as a heterosexual woman to articulate my feelings on the subject, I knew I felt uncomfortable about certain trans terminology but I didn’t know why. Thank you for helping me to figure this out. Quite simply I was fearful of asking in case I was accused of hate. I don’t hate anyone for being anything and I think we should all live in a way which makes us happy and fulfilled but we should also question without fear. I think JK Rowling has been treated appallingly for trying to have the conversation. Well done you!
How sad these people are. It is about time that Stonewall have their charitable status removed and replaced with "Political Organisation"! I fear for the influence these people have over the lessons being taught in schools so must be stopped before too much damage is done to generations of children!
As a PhD Biologist I was taught to gollow the evidence. I didn't have a problem eith Gay people but the biological evidence is firm.
Initially the sexed brains thing made me think there was a biological basis to Trans. Then an excellent female scientist carefully and thoroughly debunked them. Most evaporated when a proper correction for the size differences was applied. Shoddy science initialy.
Not being expert in brain imaging (my brain Anatomy isn't bad) I had to trust the initial studies.
There are no biological bases for Trans known. The Trans genome project gave up with circa 30k genomes sequenced finding nothing. That I have some understanding of. The genome tools (online or on GitHub) are powerful and sophisticated. My youngest is a PhD Bioinformatician. I'm something of a molecular geneticist.
It's clear the huge increase in women fleeing womanhood is a combination social contagion come opportunity grasped (without understanding the dangers). Butch Lesbians seem an endangered group.
Thank you for your logical long form argument and for fairly crediting Marie.
Thank you for this well written perspective on the gender debate from the perspective of a gay man.
I would like to point out your incorrect use of the term “phenotype”, you use it as though it means “appearance” but it only refers to the characteristics a person (or any living thing has) as a result of his or her DNA.
For example my phenotype dictates that I have brown hair. If I dye my hair blonde it doesn’t change my phenotype it simply changes my appearance.
Having said that, I really enjoyed your writing and I look forward to further essays etc as you have a clear, concise way of writing.
(Sorry for the nit picking about phenotype - anal retentive is my middle name)
This article has put so much of what I’ve been struggling with into words.
I’m a straight white, middle class, well educated, well spoken woman and I’m constantly aware of the huge privilege I have. This has meant that I’ve tried to temper my burgeoning gender critical thoughts by telling myself “yes but it’s easy for you, you don’t understand the lived experience that trans women have”.
I grew up in a women’s only communal house in the 80s which was, unsurprisingly, peopled with mostly gay and bisexual women, many of whom had only realised they were gay later in life. Many of these women had suffered abuse and traumatic experiences at the hands of men. This has meant that feminism has always been front and centre in my mind and meant that I had a very clear understanding of how far behind we are as a society in terms of women’s rights, safety and even women’s right to define the female gender without the male gaze.
I’m usually really outspoken about my beliefs which, for so long have mirrored relatively strong left wing and inclusionary lines of thought, that I’ve been really struggling with my sense of my own cowardice when it comes to discussing this. I feel like I’m going to be attacked and vilified if I vary from the, seemingly now mainstream, “all women are women” stance.
For me the gender debate is further complicated by the fact that I’ve always really struggled with some of the eighties/90s gay culture where gay men started referring to each other as ‘she’ and women were caricatured bitchy, vapid, spiteful, and trampy. It made me so sad to see this start to permeate gay culture where it seemed that young gay men were being asked to almost emulate these traits in order to be seen as “gay”. Having grown up with lots of gay men and women who were outwardly the same as all the heterosexual people I knew, it was heartbreaking to see young men contorting themselves like this in order to fit in.
Watching these young, gay men create horrific caricatures of women for themselves has also meant that I’ve really struggled with the idea of allowing men to self define as women because that de facto means accepting their definition of what a woman is. Female drag is, in my opinion, an excellent of example (albeit writ large) of what happens when you allow men to pick out the characteristics of what they see as “woman”. The defining characteristics of womanhood for me have never included make up, bitchiness, dressing glamorously or being prissy. I’m aware that drag is much more complex than the way I’ve used it in this example but I think it does speak to how difficult it is to allow the male gaze to define what makes a woman.
Thank you for writing this article, I’m trying to find a way to be brave enough to share it and ask for people’s thoughts as a starting point to gaining clarity on my own.
A great read and a well-presented position. You and I are a similar vintage (I believe) and many of your milestones resonated strongly with me. Keep the Aspidistra Flying....and as your thinking is evolving and developing, keep it coming! What you have to say is felt in many of the silent majority who have had various fundamentally absurd ideologies rammed down our throats, which we felt obliged to accept, in the name of "inclusion", "equity" or "equality", rather than appear to be that exact thing we had worked so hard against in the 80's and 90's...bigotry! But a multi-coloured umbrella only fits in on a golf-course, while the rainbow umbrellas used to be something which united LGB people everywhere. Onwards, Duncan!
Wow. This is heartfelt. I as a straight woman in the 80s and 90s walked with my lesbian and gay friends. I supported their calls for equality. When the trans question came out I stood for trans rights then something changed. A feeling that something wasn't right, that some not all were literally trying to claim that they were something that they couldn't be that if they felt they were a woman they were. This worried me. You have put all my fears into the words I felt I couldn't say. Thank you for this. You are such a strong brave man
This is terrific. So clear, considered and well-written. And also heartfelt. The only sad thing is that certain people will almost certainly give you hate for it, while failing to come up with anything half so eloquent.
This is a brave and important piece of writing. I am bisexual and automatically backed trans rights - I saw myself as a progressive so of course I'd support this struggling minority. But it's clear that the trans rights movement has moved from protesting the violence and prejudice some trans people suffer to claiming that biological sex does not exist. And it doing so it places women (and gay men) in great danger.
Thanks for this, Duncan.
I remember you from twitter and always appreciated your input. This essay is a very clear time line of the penny dropping and could potentially challenge even some if my most stubbornly righteous friends.
Thank you Duncan. I have also been on a journey on this trajectory. I'm a straight woman with many gay friends and an oldest and dearest friend is a trans man. I backed him all the way through his transition. I spent my youth in gay clubs partying with a mix of wonderful gay, bisexual, straight, transvestite and trans people. I knew which side I was on. I was angered by JK Rowling's comments which seemed to dismiss the painful experiences and feelings of trans women. I was angered by the suggestion that trans women were sexual predators just like I was angered years earlier by the suggestion that being gay meant sexual perversion. But I am also a feminist and I knew that biological sex matters. Something didn't feel right. Like you a discussion with a gender critical friend, and a lot of thinking and reading led me down the path you have described so well. I hope others follow.
Beautiful clear writing - thanks.
Am stunned this has only just made national consciousness - and only because JK Rowling as raised it in her tweets. The other day I found the following article in The Economist from 2018 where it is discussed and the nuance of the difference between same sex attraction v same gender attraction and the nature of being a woman. I only found it as I have a 16yo gnc autie daughter who is clearly lesbian, but has been convinced she is trans since she was 12 - along with 50% of her peers - so I research stuff that might help her reframe what the TRA lobby tells her.
https://www.economist.com/open-future/2018/07/03/the-gender-identity-movement-undermines-lesbians
The debate reached its point of insanity when a cisgender male, who identifies as a woman and a lesbian, who has not fully transitioned, claimed on YouTube that "lesbians who refuse to date a lesbian with a penis are guilty of a hate crime". That's the sort of writing you'd expect on South Park.
Finally... a succinct & thorough examination of this "debate" that I've been reluctant to publicly weigh in on for fear of being sledgehammered. I've been quietly flying under the radar informing my opinion. This is the 1st time I've responded to it, because your "essay" was logical, well researched yet personal. This is personal. Thankyou so very much...from a Woman in the "Colony's". 🌏,☮️ &5⭐'s.
This has really helped me as a heterosexual woman to articulate my feelings on the subject, I knew I felt uncomfortable about certain trans terminology but I didn’t know why. Thank you for helping me to figure this out. Quite simply I was fearful of asking in case I was accused of hate. I don’t hate anyone for being anything and I think we should all live in a way which makes us happy and fulfilled but we should also question without fear. I think JK Rowling has been treated appallingly for trying to have the conversation. Well done you!
How sad these people are. It is about time that Stonewall have their charitable status removed and replaced with "Political Organisation"! I fear for the influence these people have over the lessons being taught in schools so must be stopped before too much damage is done to generations of children!
As a PhD Biologist I was taught to gollow the evidence. I didn't have a problem eith Gay people but the biological evidence is firm.
Initially the sexed brains thing made me think there was a biological basis to Trans. Then an excellent female scientist carefully and thoroughly debunked them. Most evaporated when a proper correction for the size differences was applied. Shoddy science initialy.
Not being expert in brain imaging (my brain Anatomy isn't bad) I had to trust the initial studies.
There are no biological bases for Trans known. The Trans genome project gave up with circa 30k genomes sequenced finding nothing. That I have some understanding of. The genome tools (online or on GitHub) are powerful and sophisticated. My youngest is a PhD Bioinformatician. I'm something of a molecular geneticist.
It's clear the huge increase in women fleeing womanhood is a combination social contagion come opportunity grasped (without understanding the dangers). Butch Lesbians seem an endangered group.
Thank you for your logical long form argument and for fairly crediting Marie.
Thank you for this well written perspective on the gender debate from the perspective of a gay man.
I would like to point out your incorrect use of the term “phenotype”, you use it as though it means “appearance” but it only refers to the characteristics a person (or any living thing has) as a result of his or her DNA.
For example my phenotype dictates that I have brown hair. If I dye my hair blonde it doesn’t change my phenotype it simply changes my appearance.
Having said that, I really enjoyed your writing and I look forward to further essays etc as you have a clear, concise way of writing.
(Sorry for the nit picking about phenotype - anal retentive is my middle name)
This article has put so much of what I’ve been struggling with into words.
I’m a straight white, middle class, well educated, well spoken woman and I’m constantly aware of the huge privilege I have. This has meant that I’ve tried to temper my burgeoning gender critical thoughts by telling myself “yes but it’s easy for you, you don’t understand the lived experience that trans women have”.
I grew up in a women’s only communal house in the 80s which was, unsurprisingly, peopled with mostly gay and bisexual women, many of whom had only realised they were gay later in life. Many of these women had suffered abuse and traumatic experiences at the hands of men. This has meant that feminism has always been front and centre in my mind and meant that I had a very clear understanding of how far behind we are as a society in terms of women’s rights, safety and even women’s right to define the female gender without the male gaze.
I’m usually really outspoken about my beliefs which, for so long have mirrored relatively strong left wing and inclusionary lines of thought, that I’ve been really struggling with my sense of my own cowardice when it comes to discussing this. I feel like I’m going to be attacked and vilified if I vary from the, seemingly now mainstream, “all women are women” stance.
For me the gender debate is further complicated by the fact that I’ve always really struggled with some of the eighties/90s gay culture where gay men started referring to each other as ‘she’ and women were caricatured bitchy, vapid, spiteful, and trampy. It made me so sad to see this start to permeate gay culture where it seemed that young gay men were being asked to almost emulate these traits in order to be seen as “gay”. Having grown up with lots of gay men and women who were outwardly the same as all the heterosexual people I knew, it was heartbreaking to see young men contorting themselves like this in order to fit in.
Watching these young, gay men create horrific caricatures of women for themselves has also meant that I’ve really struggled with the idea of allowing men to self define as women because that de facto means accepting their definition of what a woman is. Female drag is, in my opinion, an excellent of example (albeit writ large) of what happens when you allow men to pick out the characteristics of what they see as “woman”. The defining characteristics of womanhood for me have never included make up, bitchiness, dressing glamorously or being prissy. I’m aware that drag is much more complex than the way I’ve used it in this example but I think it does speak to how difficult it is to allow the male gaze to define what makes a woman.
Thank you for writing this article, I’m trying to find a way to be brave enough to share it and ask for people’s thoughts as a starting point to gaining clarity on my own.
A great read and a well-presented position. You and I are a similar vintage (I believe) and many of your milestones resonated strongly with me. Keep the Aspidistra Flying....and as your thinking is evolving and developing, keep it coming! What you have to say is felt in many of the silent majority who have had various fundamentally absurd ideologies rammed down our throats, which we felt obliged to accept, in the name of "inclusion", "equity" or "equality", rather than appear to be that exact thing we had worked so hard against in the 80's and 90's...bigotry! But a multi-coloured umbrella only fits in on a golf-course, while the rainbow umbrellas used to be something which united LGB people everywhere. Onwards, Duncan!
I thought I understood these things before...I didn't. Thank you for this. It is an unexpected happiness to learn these truths.